Stock image of bride and guest.Photo:Getty
Getty
A bride’s friend burst into tears at her wedding because her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to come.
The 23-year-old women have “a complicated relationship” because the bride hates her friend’s boyfriend, 24. In aposton Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the bride said that she didn’t want her friend’s boyfriend to be a part of her intimate barbecue celebration of 30 people because he “treats everyone horribly, is cruel and mean” and is “an ass who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
“In the end it is my wedding, and I didn’t want him there,” the bride said.
Although the bride and boyfriend have “remained civil to one another” in group settings, the two had a “massive falling out” about six years ago, which led her to cut him out of her life.
She went on to share examples of why she and the boyfriend do not get along including how he told her she should have “tried harder” after being cheated on in school, telling her she “wasn’t pretty enough” for her fiancé and lying about his grandmother’s death to convince her to write an essay for him.
Since their fight, the bride has “never expressed any anger or dislike of him.” But her friendship with his girlfriend is still “fragile,” as she “gets overly anxious and defensive” of him.
The bride isn’t alone in her disdain for the boyfriend, as their shared group of friends and majority of their former college classmates “heavily dislike” him. Knowing that everyone dislikes him has led his girlfriend to not “bring him up at all.”
“Her boyfriend is a sore subject in our friend group, and while we had voiced our doubts about him at the start of their relationship, because of how long they’ve been together, and wanting to not isolate [her], we have simply just let them be,” the bride explained.
Upset woman (stock image).fizkes / Getty Images
She noted that she doesn’t think her friend’s boyfriend is abusive nor that he’s purposely isolating his girlfriend from her friends, simply that he “does not care about the feelings of people that aren’t him” or his girlfriend.
Because the bride is friendly and close with her other friends' partners, they were all invited to the wedding. This caused her friend without a plus-one to feel “extremely left out.”
Over the years, the woman has told the bride that her boyfriend is “different around her.” At the wedding, she asked her why she “couldn’t just put up with” him and understand that he makes her happy.
“I told her I put up with him and be civil and kind [to] him to the best of my ability and have never talked trash about him,” the bride wrote. “She said she wished [he] could be invited to places and liked, and how alone we made her feel because of our unspoken dislike of him. I tried to apologize and I really did feel horrible.”
She added: “I feel like she’s let out years of pent up feelings and now I feel like an a–.”
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The guilty-feeling bride asked Reddit users if she made the wrong decision to not invite her friend’s boyfriend. In response, they confirmed that she made the right call.
“If you date an a—– no one likes, don’t be surprised that people don’t want to be around them,” one person commented. “NTA (not the a——) and tbh [your friend] has some nerve to go crying about it to you on your wedding day.”
Another person wrote: “Sadly for your friend, it drove home the point that she’s not going to be excluded but no one is going to carry the burden of her choice of partner, especially not at their own milestone events. You were kind to even have the conversation given she knew how everyone felt about him beforehand.”
source: people.com
