Photo:Getty
Getty
A bride is at odds with her fiance over a potential member of their wedding party.
In a recentReddit post, the 27-year-old woman explained that she and her 33-year-old husband-to-be are barely speaking after a disagreement over an ex’s role in their upcoming nuptials.
“We have been dating for about 4 years now and engaged last year,” she wrote. “Prior to us dating, my fiancé dated his childhood best friend, Liz, for 8 years. They were briefly engaged before calling it off. From what I was told, they decided to break it off because they were getting married for the wrong reasons. They were planning to get married because it was the “next step” and that since their families were best friends, he needed to marry her. After they broke off the engagement, they remained friends.”
The woman went on to explain that she never had an issue with the ex, and accepted she would be a part of their lives, “I actually like her as a person and would consider her a friend,” she added. “However, there are times when we hang out that I feel left out (like I am the 3rd wheel) because of their inside jokes and shared childhood stories. I have always try to be open minded about their friendships since he assured me that they are only friends. And I do trust both of them.”
But during a recent discussion about the couple’s upcoming wedding, things took an unexpected turn.
“When he listed his wedding party, he mentioned Liz. I was taken back. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with having her be in the wedding party. I told him I am more than happy to have her attend the ceremony and reception. And that she can sit with his family and be in the family pictures.”
She continued, “However, that wasn’t good enough for him. He said that it’s his wedding party and that it was his decision who’s going to be in it. That I have the right to choose my own wedding party. So he should be able to choose whoever he likes. I told him that’s not fair because I’m not having my high school sweetheart in my wedding party.”
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Now, the disagreement is driving a wedge between them.
She continued: “He has texted me twice since the fight. First time to ask me if I have “calm down” and ready to be reasonable. The second to ask me if I have agreed with his wedding party list. I told him my answer is still no and that I don’t know if I can let this one go.”
Users sounded off in the comment section offering the woman support and advice.
Having an ex fiancée in a wedding party is unacceptable in any fashion, doesn’t matter how you try to spin it,” wrote one person.
Another chimed in: “This woman is his former fiancée. It is ludicrous for him to dig in the way he is. He’s showing where his priorities lie, and it’s not with you. What is also concerning is his attitude towards you, implying that you’re being hysterical about not wanting the woman he dated for years and asked to marry him to stand up at your wedding. If I were you, I wouldn’t be marrying a man who talks down to me about something that he is so blatantly wrong about. Your marriage will always be like this.”
One person suggested therapy to address deeper issues. “I think the issue here is his outright disregard for your feelings, and his extremely poor way of dealing with this issue which is bordering on manipulative. Calling you crazy, telling you to calm down. ‘Putting his foot down’. This is not how you resolve conflict. This is not how you treat a partner with respect. I’d put wedding plans on hold and work this through with a counselor.”
source: people.com
