Beach wedding setup (stock image).Photo:ozgurcankaya/Getty
ozgurcankaya/Getty
A bride says she regrets taking her in-laws up on their offer to pay for the wedding.
“We can’t move forward until they’re happy,” the bride said.
Making the process even more stressful and challenging, she noted, the couple still doesn’t have a venue since their previous wedding planner “screwed us over” and left them scrambling to book an alternate location. After their initial plans fell through, they managed to find “the most amazing venue within the budget” — but the in-laws were not happy with it.
“So we’re back to square one,” the bride lamented, adding, “[While] we are grateful that they want to pay, somehow I feel like it’s more of what they want, and not about our wedding.”
Upset bride (stock image).iStockphoto/Getty
iStockphoto/Getty
“I’m regretting agreeing to it, but unfortunately it’s too late to back out now as many [guests] have booked their tickets to fly in for the wedding,” she continued. “I want to tell my partner for us to just shoulder [the wedding costs] ourselves, but he would rather have his parents pay for it than to come out of his pocket.”
She said she suggested to her fiancé the idea of splitting the bill with his parents, but “he’s not in the position to shell out a big sum at the moment.”
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“Your partner needs to deal with his parents firmly. No one can possibly misunderstand the urgency of finding a venue at this point. They’re not working with you — it kinda sounds like they’re sabotaging things to be honest,” one person wrote.
A bride and groom with their wedding officiant (stock image).Getty
Getty
Others expressed their concern that the wedding planning dilemma could foreshadow how things will go in the bride’s marriage when it comes to dealing with her in-laws. “Your partner is going to defer to his parents every time — this is just a preview of your married life,” one commenter wrote. “You need to have real communication with your partner AND then the in-laws.”
“They are setting the dynamic for your relationship once you’re married and have children (if you want them). Once they know they can gain an inch, they’ll take miles,” someone else chimed in, referring to the in-laws.
Quite a few commenters bluntly pointed out that if the bride and her fiancé want to plan the wedding on their own terms, they should pay for it themselves. “When you let someone else pay like this, it becomes their event. You should have had the wedding you can personally afford,” one person wrote.
Another said: “The reality is they have not given you a blank check: they have agreed to be the hosts of your wedding. Hosts get input into the event they are hosting. Those are the terms. Do you want the money under those terms, or do you want to make all the decisions completely yourself?”
source: people.com
